Middle management

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I am now middle management. A term that means nothing to those above me or those below me. It doesn’t really mean much to me either to be honest apart from the fact I get a few extra pennies in my pocket each month. So what is middle management? And how do you survive it? Here goes…

1) don’t let the power go to your head, you don’t have any. As I said above, all it means is that you are not quite ready or not tried and tested enough to be management. You will have responsibilities that are so minor that if it all goes wrong it doesn’t really matter. Although this may be true you still have to consider…

2) you will be blamed for failure and ignored for success. Basically it breaks down like this: if you are successful then it is your bosses who will take the credit as they ‘knew you could do it’ and that’s why they hired you. If it all goes wrong then you will make a great scapegoat.

3) doing the crap jobs. Sometimes, jobs are so crap that they can’t even be given to staff to do. That’s where middle management comes in. These jobs are usually paperwork, the results of the paperwork are usually semi important, the paperwork itself is always as dull and laborious as a trip to a modern art gallery with someone who thinks they know about modern art.

4) management speak and americanisms. Pushing the envelope, thinking outside the box, moving forward together and so on. Best I ever heard was a manager say “you can’t have your cake and eat it, so you had better step up to the plate and face the music” awesome. Try here for more bollocksphere

I do find myself turning into David Brent from the office sometimes. I try to stop myself but I fear it may be inevitable. I suppose it’s all about career progression, one day I will be management, maybe even senior management. Then I get the power, the money, the glory and the ability to blame those around me no matter what I’ve done.

I shall end with a little Eddie Murphy and ‘coming to America‘. This week it’s the floors, next week the fries and one day I’ll make assistant manager, that’s when the big bucks come rolling in.

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One thought on “Middle management

  1. bibliopirate says:

    Time to read a lot of Dilbert comics and laugh about the misery of it all.

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