Category Archives: resources

Clearing out my head

I had a clear out of my ideas today. This sounds a bit odd I know but hear me out and I shall explain.

keyboard delete

I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night (this could be because of bad dreams, my wife kicking me or my son falling out of bed) and I will have an idea for a blog. At this point I have two options a) think about it and stay awake or b) write it down and go to sleep. Easy choice right? Wrong. If I do go for option b then the chances are I will wake my wife with the glow of my iPhone (I don’t actually write, I type it down) or I have to go and sit in the en-suite on the cold loo lid. I panic though that my idea will be forgotten by the morning and so generally do the second option and risk the wrath.

So my drafts folder was pretty chockablock with ideas and I figured it was time for a clear out. I found the majority fit into one or all of the following categories, here in lost form for a change.

the muppet show grumpy balcony men
1) Completed, yet over the line. Things like the blog I wrote having a go at people for telling me what’s best for me. I wrote a ranty (not a real word I know) blog about people who had told us it was better not to find out the sex of our unborn child. The problems I had were that a) we wanted to know and b) we didn’t get to know. It was very frustrating and was compounded by the, “it’s better not to find out” ers. My blog was a little over the line and so deleted. Some people who said that would have seen the comedy in it, others not so much. I have written and deleted many blogs of this type. I am a grumpy old (before my time) man. Grrrrr.

2) Stupid ideas. Sometimes I come up with a genius idea for a blog (at 4 in the morning) and then read it back and wonder what on earth I was talking about. I ramble enough at you guys without inflicting upon you my really weird stuff. Other times they just go off on a tangent so wide that I spend half the time explaining what I mean. That is neither entertaining nor funny. To be fair though I am a big believer that there are two types of stupid ideas 1) those that benefit from being stupid and are intelligent because of it and 2) those that are just stupid. I leave that judgement in your hands most days but do try to employ some sort of filtering system.

homers brain bart simpson
3)Time specific. Mine are mostly about sport or current London events. The problem is the lack of ideas about such a thing or things. One good line does not a blog make. Other times I just get bored with what I am writing. I wrote a really great one about the Euro 2012 and then got despondent because we (England) got knocked out, I just didn’t have the heart to finish it. By the time I came back to it, it was about as relevant as a referencing a contestant from any reality TV show that finished more than a month ago. No one cares about it or wants to remember it.

big brother ex stars

I feel a little sad every time I delete one. I wonder what they could have been. Maybe one held the key to immortality by being picked up by the national press, one could have been seen by a famous big wig and started something that helped promote my books or maybe, just maybe, it could have made someone smile or giggle.

Maybe I should start a website for discarded blogs. Somewhere that they can go to good use. Somewhere that might make a person’s lips curl up and eyes widen in that glorious way. Maybe.

As always, feel free to share the blog. If you put this www.andrewauthor.com as your Facebook status it comes with a nifty little picture. It also helps a fairy get it wings.

Enjoy your weekend.
tinkerbell hook julia robertsDisclaimer: Andrew Thomas is in no way affiliated with the fairy society, the fraternity of fairy wings nor the school for fairy flight. The views in this blog are the authors alone and not those of any fairy or fairy based club, society or group. Sharing this website will in no way help a fairy get its wings.

 

 

 

.

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Diamond Jubilee Quiz answers

20120604-072756.jpg

Hope you enjoyed the flotilla thingy, even though it was wet and cold. Her Royal Queenyness seemed pleased.

As promised, here are the answers.

1.What is the Queen’s full name? ​Elizabeth Alexandra Mary WINDSOR
2. Who is the Queen’s husband? ​​Prince Phillip, duke of Edinburgh
3. How old is Queen? ​​​​86
4. Who are the Queen’s parents? ​​King George VI , Elizabeth
5. What is the name of the Queen’s Sister? Princess Margaret
6. What year did Queen Elizabeth get married? 1947
7. How many children does Queen Elizabeth have? ​4
8. How many Grandchildren does the Queen have?​8
9. What are the names of the Queen’s children? Charles, Anne, Andrew & Edward
10. Can you order the Queen’s children starting with eldest to the oldest?
Prince Charles, Princess Anne, Prince Andrew & Prince Edward
11. What breed of pet dogs is the Queen known for? ​Corgi’s
12. What year did Princess Elizabeth become queen? 6th February 1952
13. Who is the heir to the throne? ​​Prince Charles
14. Can you name any four of the queen’s Grandchildren?
Peter, Zara, William, Harry, Beatrice, Eugenie, Louise, James
15. What is the Diamond Jubilee a celebration of? 60 years reign?
16. What is the Queen’s well known residence? Buckingham Palace
17. What film did the Queen appear in? None
18. What is the first line of the National Anthem?
God save our gracious Queen
19. What does HRH mean? Her Royal Highness
20. 20. What material represents 60 years?
A Diamond

I would love to know how you got on. Enjoy the rest of your extra long weekend.

Lovely jublee

20120604-072621.jpg

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Diamond Jubilee Quiz

20120602-200412.jpg

So what are you doing for the Queens Diamond Jubilee? Down the pub? BBQ? Street party? Nothing?

As a teacher of 10 year olds I learn more about current events and nationwide celebrations than I ever did as a civilian. Having fun with the kids while trying to trick them into learning is the key. So with that in mind ,here is my Diamond Jubilee quiz. It’s all about the Queen (of course) and her 6 decade rule of these fantastic shores.

How British are you feeling?

1. What is the Queen’s full name? ​
2. Who is the Queen’s husband? ​​
3. How old is Queen? ​​​​
4. Who are the Queen’s parents? ​​
5. What is the name of the Queen’s Sister?
6. What year did Queen Elizabeth get married?
7. How many children does Queen Elizabeth have? ​
8. How many Grandchildren does the Queen have?​
9. What are the names of the Queen’s children?
10. Can you order the Queen’s children starting with the eldest?
11. What breed of pet dogs is the Queen known for?
12. What year did Princess Elizabeth become queen?
13. Who is the heir to the throne? ​​
14. Can you name any four of the queen’s Grandchildren?
15. What is the Diamond Jubilee a celebration of?
16. What is the Queen’s well known residence?
17. What film did the Queen appear in?
18. What is the first line of the National Anthem?
19. What does HRH mean?
20. What material represents 60 years?

Struggle on some? So did I. Your punishment is to sing ‘God Save The Queen’ as loud as you can, in a public place, and encourage others to join in.

Answers in tomorrows blog. happy Jubilee.

Please feel free to share the quiz, just copy the bit across the top (the http bit), put it as your Facebook status and WordPress will do the rest.

Or you can copy and paste this one
http://andrewauthor.com/2012/06/02/diamond-jubilee-quiz/

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Why I hate Ikea

The weekend is here. A time to relax, a time to have a break from the daily slog, a time to turn off the morning alarm. What to do? Maybe a full English breakfast, a nice lunch out, a nice dinner in, a trip to the cinema, a visit with friends and family? Yes, on Saturday morning the possibilities seem endless. Ah, the weekend.

Then the words start to form on the lips of your loved one, the words that you knew were coming, the words that fill you with dread. Let’s go to Ikea.

You want to scream “no, it’s not fair!” You want to roll around the floor shouting and stamping your feet. The problem is that you can’t. You are an adult, doing adult things like washing, cleaning and making sure your house has enough storage and places to sit. I truly hate Ikea. Here are my top 6 reasons why…

1 of 6) Nameless art of places I have never been. It’s an odd thing really. I have never been to the beach that is hanging on my living room wall. To be honest, the only photos on my walls that are of places I have been are the place me and the wife said our we do’s and the studio where the photographer took the pictures of my son. I never took the pictures of the flowers in the kitchen, the sunset on the living room wall or any other ‘art’ (used in the loosest possible sense) in my home. Go take a look in Ikea (or next, tesco, asda or any non art art seller) and you will find fields, cityscapes, blue oceans and flowers. Why can’t we just leave the walls blank. Even better, get the star wars poster back off my mate and put that up. At least it’s of something I like. But that’s the point, you notice it. Ikea art is there to add colour and be ignored. Top marks guys. Job well done (please include sarcastic tone when reading last 2 comments. Thanks)

2 of 6) Flat pack and instructions. This really is the worst. Great big lumps of MDF coated to look like pine or oak. Little packets of screws, nails and nameless twisty things. Instructions in 12 different languages that are overly complicated. A list of tools you will need that is never enough and finally, when you think you are done, when you stand back and look (arms folded in a manly way) you step on the packet of screws or nails or nameless twisty things you didn’t use and wonder a) how important are they and b) how long until it falls down! The worst part though is that you actually need the instructions. That’s not very manly at all.

3 of 6) Hot dogs. Either: Oooooo look, a 45p hot dog. Let’s get one. I would rather keep my 45p and my 25 minutes Queuing time thank you very much. Or: let’s go to ikea and we can have a hotdog at the end. (deep breath) Let’s not and have pint in the pub as we don’t have enough chairs here which is why you want to go and so if we go to the pub we don’t need chairs. And inhale.

4 of 6) Many boxes for one thing. My friend has just had a little girl, well his other half did but anyway this meant 2 things. Number one: he had to get more storage. Number 2: he had to go to ikea. He was smart though, he got it delivered. Or was he? No, it appears not. He got his delivery of many boxes and quickly realised that he had 5 out of 7 boxes for his tv unit, 4 out of 9 boxes for the wardrobe and 3 out of 5 for the table. This just goes to show that even the people who work at ikea can’t find all the boxes. What hope do I have? I have 2 degrees (my wife has the same) and we can’t figure it out. Maybe I need to be Swedish?

5 0f 6) My house is full of it. Yes, yes it is. I hate myself right now. Don’t look at me.

6 of 6) oops, the item you are looking for is out of stock.

So ikea, your customer service sucks, your food is paler than it should be, your systems are overly complicated, you have a one way system that needs a sat nav, your furniture comes in millions of unnecessary boxes, the wood items you sell contain as much real wood as your hotdogs do real meat, you make me depressed and you ruin my weekends. But, you are cheap and have a clever catalogue that shows what my house could look like (if I cleaned and didn’t have a child). So for now you win. I hope you’re proud of yourself. (insert sarcasm again, cheers)

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Insert clever name here…

What a year! It’s been a year of mostly ups for me and very little downs, I know how lucky that makes me and I am aware that I am in danger of becoming sincere and sentimental so I shall stop it immediately.

This year has meant 4 more of my books being published, a new website with an awesome name (www.andrewsbooks.co.uk), a rediscovery of my love of poetry, a virtual fistful of new apps for my phone, some great trips, an attempt to regrow my hair and a new found DJ. So here it comes, my best of 2011 list…

1) Poetry: I uses to like poetry at school and then I didn’t. It wasn’t a conscious decision I suppose it’s just where do you come into contact with it in your every day life. As I teacher I really enjoyed teaching it this year. The best compliment I got from a child was “you made me think about the world in a weird and different way”. Love it.

2) WordPress: I really like the WordPress website and the fact it is so easy to use. The disadvantages are that checking your stats is addictive, how many views? How many followers? I can’t help myself! The massive advantage is the WordPress app, it’s awesome. It means I can blog and add pictures direct from my iPhone. This also means I don’t drive my family mad by being constantly on the computer.

3) iPhone: blogging tool, camera, mp3 player, texting, making calls, sat nav, tv, Internet access and game console. Who needs a laptop? My favourite things on it this year have been sky go (I can watch up to 12 sky channels on my phone, including 6 movie channels), as it means I don’t have to watch kids TV all the time. Sonic the hedgehog is a great time waster as well, the mega drive version of course.

4) Squidge: what a great year for the Squidge books it has been. I have loved writing them, James has loved drawing them and proving house have loved putting them out. I think this shows in the quality of the finished books. Check them out.

5) Jaguar skills: a DJ who has been around for a while but is new to me. No one knows who he is, well they do but they don’t. Let’s try again. A DJ who keeps his identity secret. The best thing to do is have a look. Jaguar skills link.

I think that one of my favourite things though has been coming up with the names for the blogs. I’ve left this one blank so you can join in the fun if you want.

Have a happy 2012. Hope the new year treats you well.

20111231-094554.jpg

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Climbing the charts

My book seems to be climbing the charts! Number 12 out of nearly 44,000.

20111130-194329.jpg

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

New to blogging

So here I am, a teacher/writer attempting to be a writer/teacher. This blog is an early festive introduction to my character Squidge. A little elf with a nose for trouble, but being a teacher, I have to get the learning angle in. Squidge, and his Christmas adventures, come with a variety of resources (free ones) that are suitable for ks1 and ks2. For ks1 we have colouring pages and letter heads for letters to Santa and for Ks2 a more comprehensive pack filled with lesson plans, flipcharts and all the resources you need for a weeks literacy lesson. It even comes with its own success criteria. No strings, all free. Who wants to plan in the run up to Christmas anyway? All at www.SquidgeElf.com or on the TES website and type in squidge in the resources search or click here. Enjoy

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: